no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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