How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
