Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish my penis had a tongue
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
