she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
