Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
