Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
