I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Your cock deserves a montage
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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