apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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