My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize