I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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