I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
