You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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