my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i dont even know how to be here
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
did i just pee glitter
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
