can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
