Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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