so explain again why im purple
no
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize