I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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