yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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