i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
