just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
