So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
