I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize