I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
