The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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