Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
