I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
