We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
