I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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