I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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