watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
