yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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