Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
