How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
