I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
