Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
