can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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