from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
