I haven't been this sober since birth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
