I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
