If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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