no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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