I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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