i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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