Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
