Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
