I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
