It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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