Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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