Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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