a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize