I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
