new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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