I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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