you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
