Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
