I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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