lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
