okay pat passed out under dana's car
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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