The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
