NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
