Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
