he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
