Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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