it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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