we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
