Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
