why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
