I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize